I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
