OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
