I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
