Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
