Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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