if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize