I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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