His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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