Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
