I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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