i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
