i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
