I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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