WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
