what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
