Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize