Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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