if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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