She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
