Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
