the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
