drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize