how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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