it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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