the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
