She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
