And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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