:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
