no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize