The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
