OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
