I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
