Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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