apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
