Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he shaved USA in his pubs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
