people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
