We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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