Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
