Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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