yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize