The maid of honor just puked.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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