just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
