they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
