i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
