You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
