Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
