This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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