I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
