there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
