We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
