I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
