just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize