I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
