I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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