did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
