Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
