Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
