Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize