and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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