She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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